All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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