Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
