were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
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