so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
