well you can't waste a boner
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
