girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
is wine microwaveable?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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