are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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