My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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