She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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