You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
