i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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