would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
