Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just blew my weed a kiss
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
