btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
