did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
