i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Enjoy the penises
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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