As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
