My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
