My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize