My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I supernannyed him into submission
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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