i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize