please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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