phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
