Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
