Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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