absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
