..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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