i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
