i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
