lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize