I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
