i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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