I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
