i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
