I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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