So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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