everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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