"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
foreskin is a definite game changer
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Randomize
