dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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