i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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