just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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