is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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