forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
