Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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