I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize