we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
