I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
