i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
