Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize