You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
