Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
