yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
