i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
