I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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