I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
