Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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