dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I am naked and annoyed.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize