Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My room smells like vodka and shame
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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