She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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