The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
