Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
