i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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