Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
