so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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