The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
