google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
