i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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